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The Hidden Nature of ADHD in Women

Writer: sussexpsychtherapysussexpsychtherapy

Updated: 4 days ago

For too long, ADHD has been seen as something that only affects boys and men, which can leave many women feeling overlooked or misunderstood. But the truth is, ADHD affects just as many women and girls, although it can look very different.


A piercing eye hidden in a large green leaf. The vivid green contrasts with the eye's vibrant color, creating a mysterious vibe.

Many women with ADHD often find themselves flying under the radar. Their symptoms might look quite different from what we typically associate with ADHD, which is often more evident in men. Women tend to develop coping strategies that can mask their challenges, making it harder for them to get diagnosed—and this can leave them feeling confused and inadequate.

Think about it: Women might struggle with things like staying organised, managing time, or even staying focused on tasks that don't capture their interest. Emotional ups and downs can also be common, which can be tough when juggling everything from work to family obligations. But it’s important to remember that these challenges don’t define their abilities—they just reflect a different way of processing the world.


What are some of the Behaviours Associated with ADHD in Women?


Symptoms of inattention:


  • Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or conversations.

  • Frequent forgetfulness and losing things (e.g., keys, documents, phone).

  • Trouble organizing tasks and managing time.

  • Difficulty following through on instructions or completing projects.


Ways this can show up for women:  


  • Women may find themselves daydreaming or losing focus, especially in situations they find uninteresting.

  • Often experience overwhelm in multi-tasking, leading to missed deadlines or forgetting commitments.

  • May develop strategies to compensate, like keeping extensive to-do lists or digital reminders.

  • Women often juggle multiple responsibilities (work, family, social commitments), which can make organisational difficulties more pronounced.

  • Procrastination can be a common response to feeling overwhelmed.


Symptoms of Hyperactivity:


  • Restlessness or feeling fidgety.

  • Difficulty sitting still in situations where it is expected.

  • Excessive talking or interrupting others.


Ways this can show up for women:  


  • Women may display less overt hyperactivity, expressing it as a sense of inner restlessness or anxiety.

  • They might find it hard to relax and often jump from one topic to another in conversations.

  • Some may engage in busywork or multitasking to channel their energy.


Symptoms of Impulsivity:


  • Difficulty waiting for one's turn; interrupting others.

  • Making hasty decisions without considering the consequences.

  • Engaging in risky behaviors.


Ways this can show up for women:  


  • Women may experience impulsive emotions, leading to quick reactions or difficulties in regulating feelings.

  • This can manifest as saying things they later regret or making spontaneous decisions, like shopping sprees.

  • Some may struggle with planning, opting for immediate gratification over long-term goals.


Other associated challenges which are not part of the diagnostic criteria but are often typical of ADHD include:


Emotion Dysregulation


  • Difficulty managing frustration and handling stress.

  • Mood swings and heightened sensitivity to emotions.

  • Low tolerance for stress or criticism.


Ways this can show up for women:  


  • Women may experience strong emotional reactions, such as feeling overwhelmed or tearful in response to stress.

  • They might also feel anxious or depressed, leading to a cycle of self-doubt and frustration.

  • This emotional intensity can affect relationships, making it challenging to communicate needs effectively.


Social Anxiety:


  • Difficulty in social interactions or misunderstanding social cues.

  • Trouble maintaining friendships or romantic relationships.


Ways this can show up for women:  


  • Women may struggle to engage in social situations, leaving them feeling isolated or misunderstood.

  • They might find themselves overanalysing social interactions or feeling anxious in group settings.

  • The desire for connection can lead to frustration when social dynamics feel challenging


Rejection Sensitivity

 

·       This is particularly common in women, is rejection sensitivity. This refers to an extreme emotional response to perceived criticism, rejection, or failure. Women with ADHD may experience heightened sensitivity to feedback, interpreting it as a personal failure rather than constructive criticism. This can lead to avoidance of situations where they fear rejection, impacting their relationships and self-esteem. For example, the fear of not meeting expectations may cause them to shy away from new opportunities or to overprepare in social settings to mitigate potential criticism. Understanding and addressing rejection sensitivity is crucial, as it can create a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt, further complicating the management of ADHD and affecting overall emotional well-being.

 

Celebrating Strengths


Let’s flip the script and talk about the amazing strengths that women with ADHD bring to the table:


  • Creative Problem-Solving: Many women with ADHD are fantastic at thinking outside the box. They might come up with solutions that others wouldn’t even think of, thanks to their creativity. This can be such a game-changer, both in personal projects and professional settings.


  • Empathy and Intuition: Women often have a heightened sense of empathy. They can be great listeners and friends because of their emotional awareness, which helps them connect deeply with others.


  • Resilience: Dealing with ADHD can build serious resilience. Women often learn to adapt and overcome challenges, turning tricky situations into opportunities for growth.


The Importance of Support and Understanding


Creating a welcoming space for women with ADHD means understanding their unique struggles and finding ways to support them:


  • Encouraging Self-Acceptance: It’s so important for women to know that having ADHD is completely okay. When they embrace their unique cognitive style, they can start to truly appreciate themselves and their journey.


  • Access to Resources: Getting the right support—whether through coaching, therapy, or support groups—can make a world of difference. Having the right tools helps women manage their symptoms and lean into their strengths.


  • Promoting Awareness: Let’s talk about this more! The more people know about how ADHD shows up in women, the more understanding and acceptance we can foster in our families, schools, and workplaces.


 
 
 

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