AuDHD Explained: Celebrating Strengths and Navigating Challenges

sussexpsychtherapy
Jun 12
4 min read

Living with AuDHD, both autism and ADHD, is a deeply intricate and rewarding journey. Your unique traits, strengths, and challenges are interwoven, offering remarkable gifts but also creating internal conflict.

Recognising and Compassionately Navigating Your Internal Tensions

Being autistic and having ADHD can sometimes lead to internal conflicts—traits or feelings that seem to pull in different directions. At times, you might find that meeting your autistic needs causes your ADHD needs to be overlooked and vice versa. This can result in confusion or internal tensions, which may contribute to distress.

Common Inner Tensions You Might Experience

1. Craving Routine & Structure Vs. Impulsivity & Spontaneity

Your autistic parts may crave predictability and routines to feel safe.
Your ADHD parts might feel restless and impulsive, craving spontaneous activities and new experiences.
Tension: You might feel frustrated because you want stability but also long for excitement or change. That push and pull can cause feelings of being “stuck” or “out of control,” leading to internal conflict.

2. Deep Focus & Passion Vs. Need for Novel Interests

When you find something you love, you can hyperfocus and become highly skilled.
However, you might also crave new hobbies and interests and get bored easily, making it hard to focus consistently.
Tension: You may feel excited about new interests but get frustrated that you cannot immerse yourself or stick to hobbies as much as you would like to.

3. Sensory Sensitivities Vs. Sensory-Seeking Behaviours

Your sensory sensitivities might lead you to avoid loud sounds, bright lights, or certain textures.
At the same time, your desire for additional sensory input—touch, movement, sound—can clash with that need for calm.
Tension: Balancing these needs can feel conflicting, just as you are trying to stay grounded while also seeking stimulation. Recognising that both are valid helps cultivate compassion for yourself.

4. Desire for Connection Vs. Social Fatigue

You value honest, genuine interactions and meaningful relationships.
But social situations can be draining, overwhelming, or confusing.
Tension: You might crave connection but also need plenty of alone time to recharge. You might also find you are prone to burnout which prevents you socialising as much as you would like.

5. Preference for Routine Vs. Need for Novelty

Routine and predictability bring you comfort and security.
Your desire for novelty and adventure can make you want to try new things and explore.
Tension: You might crave new experiences but find them overwhelming. Conversely, sticking to routines might provide a sense of safety and security, but you may find you get bored easily. Finding ways to strike a balance with stability can be challenging.

Preference for order and predictability Vs Difficulties with Consistency

You might crave order, preferring familiar routines and highly structured environments.
You may also find it challenging to stick to routines or tasks consistently.
Tension: wanting stability but struggling to sustain it—can lead to feelings of frustration or disappointment.

It is important to remember that everyone has internal conflicts. It is important to understand and honour all aspects of yourself—recognising your strengths and acknowledging your struggles with compassion and patience. Rather than attempting to “fix” perceived issues, it's important to remember that your neurodivergence is a fundamental aspect of your identity.

Celebrate Your Strengths

While it is important to acknowledge the challenges you have to navigate, it is also important to celebrate the remarkable qualities that make you uniquely you. Some typical examples associated with AuDHD include:

Creativity & Innovation: Your mind approaches the world from a fresh perspective, often leading to original ideas, artistic expressions, and innovative solutions.
Deep Focus & Passion: When something sparks your interest, you can become deeply immersed, developing expertise and mastery in your passions. You can also acquire many diverse interests and skills and abilities in a wide range of areas.
Authenticity & Honesty: You value being genuine and truthful, often expressing yourself with sincerity and integrity.
Enhanced Sensory Awareness: Your heightened senses can reveal beauty and detail others miss, from music and art to nature and small intricacies.
Resilience & Perseverance: Navigating a world that may not always understand you builds inner strength, perseverance, and grit.
Empathy & Compassion: Your personal experiences of struggle and acceptance often deepen your sensitivity and care for others.

How to Honour Your Whole Self

The most important thing is to approach yourself with kindness, recognising that every trait and tension is part of who you are—and that all parts of you deserve love and respect.

Validate fully: Celebrate your passions, honesty, creativity, and resilience.
Accept your conflicts: Recognise that feeling torn or overwhelmed is a natural part of your experience.
Practice self-compassion: No one is perfect. What you might be able to achieve one day, you might not the next. Try not to judge or compare yourself to others. It is hard being neurodivergent in a world that essentially accommodates neurotypical ways of being and having to work harder to be understood!
Practice patience: Give yourself time to adapt and find your balance without judgment.
Celebrate small wins: Appreciate the ways you navigate your challenges daily, no matter how minor they seem.