How to get over fears and Phobias: Using EMDR to Rewire the Brain

What are phobias?

A phobia is an intense and persistent fear which is usually out of proportion to the actual level of danger. However, the fear is real! They can be really debilitating and can leave you feeling really stuck or at the mercy of your fears.

Common phobias include fear of:

• Flying

• Needles or medical procedures

• Vomiting

• Dogs, spiders, birds, snakes, or insects

• Heights

• Driving

• Lifts or enclosed spaces

• Open spaces or crowded places

• Blood or injury

• Thunderstorms

• Choking

• Dentists

  
  

Phobias involve much more than just worrying about something. When a person comes face-to-face with their trigger, their body treats it like an immediate, life-or-death emergency—long before their logical mind has time to catch up and realise they are safe.

This intense physical and emotional reaction shows up in three major ways:

Your body goes into overdrive: The nervous system instantly floods with stress hormones, causing a racing heart, shaking, sweating, trouble breathing, or a feeling of panic.

You rearrange your life to avoid it: The fear is so overwhelming that people will go to extreme lengths—like quitting a job, avoiding travel, or never leaving the house—just to make sure they never cross paths with their trigger.

The dread starts early: It isn't just scary in the moment; people spend days or weeks beforehand worrying about the possibility of encountering it.

You might notice in your body:

• A racing heart

• Shaking or sweating

• Tightness in the chest

• Dizziness or nausea

• A dry mouth

• Breathlessness

• A strong urge to escape

• Feeling frozen or unable to move

• Panic attacks

  
  

Your mind may jump to frightening predictions that sound like:

• “I’ll faint.”

• “I won’t be able to get out.”

• “The dog will attack.”

• “The plane will crash.”

• “I’ll lose control.”

• “People will stare at me.”

• “I won’t cope.”

  
  

Avoidance then becomes part of the cycle. Avoiding the trigger brings relief in the short term, which teaches the brain that avoidance worked. Over time, the fear can grow stronger because the brain never gets the chance to learn that the feared thing may be safe, manageable, or less threatening than expected.

Why do people develop phobias?

Phobias do not always have one obvious cause. Some people can point to a clear event. Others cannot remember anything specific. Both are common.

A phobia can develop through several routes.

A frightening experience can leave a strong memory

A phobia may begin after a distressing event. For example:

• Being bitten or chased by a dog

• Having a turbulent flight

• Fainting during a blood test

• Getting trapped in a lift

• Feeling panicky on a motorway

• Being laughed at after vomiting in public

• Having a medical procedure that felt painful or out of control

  
  

The brain is designed to protect us. When something feels dangerous, it stores the experience with extra intensity. Sights, sounds, smells, body sensations, and emotions can all become linked to the threat.

Later, a similar cue can activate the same alarm response, even when the current situation is different.

A person who panicked once on a train may later feel anxious at the station, while buying a ticket, or even when seeing a train on television. The original fear has spread.

Fear can be learned by watching others

Some phobias develop through observation. A child who sees a parent panic around spiders may learn that spiders are dangerous. Someone who hears repeated warnings about dogs may begin to feel unsafe around them.

This does not mean anyone is to blame. Fear can pass through families and communities quietly, often through protective messages.

For example, “Be careful, dogs bite” may come from a loving place. But if the message is repeated often and paired with strong emotion, the nervous system may absorb it as a threat signal.

Hearing about others experiences

Hearing about accidents, illness, injuries, or other people’s frightening experiences can sometimes contribute to a phobia. This is especially true when the information feels vivid, repeated, or personally relevant.

A person might develop a fear of flying after reading about a plane crash or near miss, even if they have never had a bad flight. Another person might become fearful of choking after hearing about someone else’s experience.

The brain does not only learn through direct experience. It also learns through stories, images, and warnings.

The body can become part of the trigger

Some phobias are closely linked to bodily sensations. A person may fear the feeling of dizziness, nausea, a racing heart, or breathlessness. This can happen after panic attacks, illness, medical trauma, or periods of high stress.

The person may start to scan the body for signs that something is wrong. That scanning increases anxiety, which increases sensations, which then seems to confirm the fear.

This is why phobias can feel so convincing. The body gives “evidence” that danger is present, even when the danger is not actually there.

How EMDR can help with phobias

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It is a structured therapy best known for treating trauma, but is is commonly used to treat phobias.

EMDR does not remove normal caution. It does not try to make someone reckless around real danger. The goal is to help the brain update an overactive fear response so the person can respond to the present moment rather than relive a past experience or trigger.

During EMDR, a therapist helps the client focus on parts of the phobia while using bilateral stimulation. This usually means eye movements from side to side, tapping, or alternating sounds. This helps the process digest distressing material, so memories or triggers feel less raw and less present.

For phobias, EMDR may target:

• The first time the fear happened

• The worst memory connected to the fear

• A recent triggering event

• An imagined future situation

• The body sensation linked to panic

• The belief that keeps the fear in place, such as “I am not safe” or “I cannot cope”

  
  

A key part of EMDR for phobias is helping the nervous system learn, at a deeper level, that the feared trigger does not have to create the same panic response.

For example, someone with a dog phobia may intellectually know that most dogs will not attack. But their body may still react as if every dog is an immediate threat. EMDR aims to bridge that gap between rational knowledge and bodily fear.

What makes phobias so treatable?

Phobias can feel fixed because the fear response is so fast. Yet that speed does not mean it is permanent. The brain has an amazing capacity to update memories and change the relationship to past triggers. In therapy, the person can begin to experience the trigger, the memory, or the feared image in a different way. The brain starts to pair it with safety, control, adult perspective, and choice.

Treatment often works well because phobias are usually specific. Unlike a broad sense of anxiety that touches many areas of life, a phobia often has clear triggers and clear avoidance patterns. That gives therapy a focused route.

Many people improve more quickly than they expect. Some phobias need only a short course of focused treatment. Others take longer, especially if they link to trauma, complex anxiety, health fears, or earlier experiences of feeling trapped or powerless.

Progress does not have to mean loving the thing that once caused fear. A person afraid of spiders does not need to want one as a pet. A person afraid of injections does not need to enjoy blood tests. Success may simply mean being able to cope, stay present, and make choices without panic running the show.

What an EMDR session for phobias looks like

An EMDR session is more structured than many people expect. It is not about forcing someone to face their worst fear before they are ready. A skilled therapist works at a pace that feels manageable and safe.

The exact approach varies, but phobia work often includes the following stages.

The therapist takes a careful history

The first stage is understanding the phobia. The therapist may ask:

• When did the fear begin?

• What situations trigger it now?

• What does the person avoid?

• What thoughts appear during the fear response?

• What happens in the body?

• Has there been trauma, panic, illness, bullying, or shame linked to the fear?

• What would life look like if the phobia improved?

  
  

This stage helps the therapist map the fear network. Sometimes the obvious trigger is only one part of the picture.

For example, a fear of flying may involve the plane itself, but also feeling trapped, being away from home, fear of panic, memories of turbulence, or a belief of “I have no control”.

Preparation comes before processing

Before reprocessing begins, the therapist usually helps the client build tools for emotional steadiness. These might include breathing, grounding, visualisation, or ways to pause the work if it feels too much. It is important to cover what to expect, as this can reduce anxiety and build trust. Preparation is especially important if the phobia is linked to trauma, dissociation, complex grief, or a history of feeling unsafe in the body.

A target is chosen

EMDR works with a specific target. For a phobia, that target could be a memory, an image, a recent event, or a feared future situation.

The therapist may ask the client to notice:

• The worst part of the image or memory

• The negative belief connected to it

• The preferred belief

• The emotions that come up

• The body sensations

• How distressing it feels now

  
  

A negative belief might be “I am powerless”. A preferred belief might be “I can handle this”. The therapist does not force the new belief. The work helps the nervous system move towards it when it becomes believable.

Bilateral stimulation

The client holds the target in mind while following the therapist’s fingers with their eyes, using tapping, or listening to alternating tones. This happens in short sets.

After each set, the therapist asks what the client notices. Thoughts, images, memories, emotions, or body sensations may shift. Sometimes the mind makes links that the person did not expect.

The client does not need to describe every detail out loud. EMDR can work with less talking than some other forms of therapy, which some people find helpful.

Processing continues until the target feels less distressing. The memory or image may still exist, but it often feels further away, less charged, or easier to think about.

The body is checked

Phobias live in the body as much as the mind. After processing, the therapist may ask the client to bring up the target and scan the body.

If tension, nausea, tightness, or fear remains, that sensation may become part of the continued work.

This matters because someone may say, “I know it’s safe now”, while their stomach still drops or their chest tightens. EMDR pays attention to both.

Future situations are rehearsed

Phobia treatment often includes a future template. This means imagining a real-life situation that used to feel frightening, while installing a calmer and more capable response.

For example:

• Walking past a calm dog

• Booking a dental appointment

• Sitting on a train

• Entering a lift

• Getting a vaccination

• Driving over a bridge

• Boarding a plane

  
  

The aim is to help the brain rehearse coping before the real situation happens. This can make real-world steps feel less overwhelming.

The session closes safely

A therapist should leave time to help the client settle before the session ends. If distressing material remains unfinished, they may use grounding or containment techniques.

After a session, some people feel lighter. Others feel tired, emotional, or thoughtful for a day or two. The brain may continue processing. A therapist may suggest simple self-care, such as rest, hydration, journalling brief observations, or avoiding major stress where possible.

Will EMDR involve exposure?

Many people worry that phobia therapy will mean being pushed towards the thing they fear. This fear can stop people from seeking help.

EMDR may include imagined exposure, memory work, and future rehearsal. Some therapists also combine EMDR with gradual real-life exposure, but this should be planned carefully and agreed together.

Good therapy is not a surprise confrontation with a spider, a dog, a lift, or a needle. It is a collaborative process.

For some phobias, gradual behavioural steps are useful because the brain benefits from real-life evidence. But these steps should be paced. They might begin with looking at a cartoon image, then a photograph, then a video, then being in the same area as the trigger from a distance.

The person stays involved in the plan. Choice and control are part of healing.

When to seek support for a phobia

A fear may be worth getting help for when it affects daily life, health, relationships, work, travel, or choices.

Support can be especially helpful if:

• The fear causes panic attacks

• Avoidance is growing

• The phobia stops routine medical or dental care

• The fear affects sleep or concentration

• You have started arranging life around the phobia

• The phobia links to trauma or a distressing event

• Attempts to “just face it” have made things worse

  
  

A GP, psychological therapist, or qualified EMDR therapist can help decide what support fits best. For some people, cognitive behavioural therapy is a good option. For others, EMDR may be a strong fit.

If you would like to explore whether EMDR or a different approach like CBT can help you overcome your phobia, you can book a Free Initial Telephone Consultation or contact us on info@sussexpsychologicaltherapycentre.com